January 19, 2012
Free Copies of THE ONLY ONES for One and All!
People often ask me a question that many authors dread.
“So how’s the book doing?”
They’re well intentioned, these askers. They’re taking an interest in my life and work and that’s beyond flattering. But there’s rarely an honest answer an author can give to such a query or, to be more specific, an honest answer that will evoke a wink and a thumbs-up. The book can always be doing better, at least in terms of sales, and that’s really what they’re asking about. For most of us, it would be hard for the book to be doing a heck of a lot worse.
So I usually respond by saying, “people are really enjoying it.” This is an effective, it’s beautiful on the inside deflection that knocks the conversation out-of-bounds and it causes the asker to respond, “well I really enjoyed it!” and we get on with life.
But for this one time, I’m not going to deflect. I’m going to keep the conversation going, in hopes that someday I might have a more satisfying answer to that question.
So why isn’t the book doing better? Is it a lousy book?
Maybe. Yet we all know that plenty of lousy things take the world by storm, while plenty of amazing things remain largely undiscovered. I honestly believe that my book The Only Ones is an undiscovered gem, which is endlessly frustrating. Sure, there’s something romantic about being a long-suffering writer who’s penned an undiscovered gem, but there’s a little more romance in penning a discovered gem. There’s also a royalty check or two.
The market is overcrowded with books and the sad fact is that only a fraction of them will get the attention required to earn back their advances. Don’t ask me to explain the economics behind why a publisher would dump buckets of gold on one book while barely tossing bus fare to another, because I’ll come off sounding bitter and uninformed. But I can tell you that if a few things don’t go your book’s way—at a marketing meeting, during a sales call, in a trade review—then it might mean a loss of the support needed for that book to get discovered. Then it’s all up to you, the author, the confused neophyte who stands to collect a sobering 10-15% (before the agent’s cut) of the sales.
A lot of authors aren’t very good at promoting themselves. No surprise there. Bookish and introverted is no way to go through life, son, and it’s certainly no way to make a splash at a MediaBistro mixer. I’m no P.T. Barnum. I don’t have the ego for it. I embarrass too easily. Perhaps sales of my book have suffered because of that, but rather than beat myself up, or try to change my personality, I’ve decided to play to strengths.
The strength of The Only Ones is The Only Ones. If people aren’t buying the book, then dagnammit, I should be giving them the book. It’s been on the market for only four months, but with shiny new titles released every week, that’s a lifetime in terms of visibility. If the book is not in people’s hands soon, it will soon find its way into the bargain bin. Or so my logic goes.
Here is what I propose. If you’re a blogger, or a newspaper reviewer, or a Today Show anchor, and you read The Only Ones and review it, then I will do the following:
- I will sign a hardcover copy of the book.
- I will send aforementioned book to a person of your choosing. That person could be a nephew, a stepsister, a parcheesi partner, a cellmate or a Unitarian. It doesn’t matter. Just as long as that person is in the United States and has an address that can receive United States Postal Service deliveries.
“Hey now, Charlie!” you’re probably saying. “You’re just buying reviews!”
True. I most certainly am. Hear me out, though. Let me explain what I’m asking of you:
- I expect you to write an honest review. Not a rave. Not a puff piece. You could tear the book to shreds. Give it an F, or a seventeenth of a star, or two centaur hoofs down. Feel free to be snarky, but be honest, and I will reward your honesty by sending a copy of The Only Ones to someone who might like it as much as you do, or hate it as much as you do. Then you two can start a fan club or a petition to get me deported. Whatever floats your boat, cappy. No strings attached, no guilt involved.
- Of course, I do expect you to post the review on your blog, or in a publication to which you are a contributor. In other words, posting a review exclusively on Amazon or Goodreads or Youtube won’t work because search engines will be blind to it and it will be lost in the mix. Certainly use those places as a secondary places to post, but this is about spreading the word, not burying it.
- I also expect you to feature a picture of the book cover and a link to the book’s page. But you probably would do that anyway, wouldn’t you?
- Steer clear of spoilers if you can. Sometimes you can’t, but remember there are plenty of Frank Costanzas out there who want to “go in fresh.”
- Finally, I have no length restrictions, but “This book rocks!” or “Sucks donkey nards!” aren’t going to pass muster. Try this for an industry standard: Did it take you less than three minutes to write your review? Give it a few more minutes.
Unfortunately, I can’t offer this once-in-a-lifetime deal to people who’ve posted reviews of the book before September 19, 2011. Generating new reviews and new readers is the name of the game. If such an injustice enrages you, then email me and I’ll see if I can’t make it up to you in some way.
I currently have 25 copies of the book to give away. I may have more in the future. But for now, the spoils go to the first 25 people who post a review and email me a link to it (don’t forget a name and address for the person to whom I’ll be sending the spanking new copy).
What do I foresee resulting from this enticement? Frankly, nothing. I’d be surprised if this inspires even one new review. This web site ain’t exactly burning up the dance floors.
But let’s just say the idea takes off a little bit. And let’s just say that a few of the people who receive gift copies of The Only Ones decide to pull a Haley Joel Osment and buy copies for some other people, and then those people…well, you get the point.
If you’ve read the book already, you probably understand why I’m using this tactic to find more readers. If you haven’t read the book, well then…
- Start here.
- Then go here.
- Or here.
- Then write a review.
Tell me about it, and I’ll take it from there. While you take a nap. You deserve it.